“One Family” From TARZAN soundtrack

Not long ago, I came across this beautiful piece of music titled, One Family, from the soundtrack of the Disney film: Tarzan. Initially the tone of this composition is somewhat deeply filled with sadness ( throughout the composition…it is an emotional piece as a whole) but I do find that it gets a bit hopeful as the music progresses. Though I do not recall the film as well to place this music with the scene, I think you can feel the scene happening with little knowledge of what the movie is even about because its more of a “human experience”…something we can all relate to emotionally. When I hear music like this, I feel a tightening in my stomach and I can only daydream of creating music such as this. I just had to share this gem with you guys today and maybe you’ll like it as much as I do.

Hope your day is going well!

~ Baaps


Stressed & anxious at times and relieved & happy at other times describes these past few days here. Honestly, I go in and out with my laziness in posting here so I can not make any excuses why I have not posted ;p. As for my day today, my morning started off with much ease as I had the bathroom to myself and since my morning class isn’t super early…I was more relaxed in getting up/getting ready for school. But as usual, going outside to face the world always gets the best of my nerves it seems. I went to my morning class and I already had my guard up…I held my head mostly at an angle and refused to look to my left, couldn’t keep my focus on the teacher without looking up/down and I could not understand the dialogue in my small group that I was in -_-. I can’t help but worry that I come across as rude, not interested, anti-social to anybody in my class but I just am so nervous that when I am looking down/head down…it’s not that I am falling asleep/struggling to keep my eyes open…it’s just that I am nervous. Of course when I brought this up to Mother today, she kind of said what she always says…she knows it hard but I have to stop over-thinking, and that once I get tired of doing it…I’ll stop because it’ll no longer work for me. I seriously think no one in this entire school…thousands and thousands…struggle the way I do. It’s a real struggle and yes thinking has a lot to do with it but…its not a problem that’ll go away over night though…it may have came overnight ;p.

The day went on: After my class, I headed down to the Chinese restaurant by my school to buy some lunch and I headed back to my dorm to enjoy lunch and watch interviews. Interview…after interview after interview….hour after hour….maybe it was just my way of escaping from what I just do not have going on in my own life right now. But my reasons is more likely to be a combination of laziness and procrastination from school-work. Ha, already so early on in the semester. This is baaaaaad, baaaadddddddddd I tell you@! Anyway, after finally getting tired of doing nothing, I got started on school work and I did not finish until much later evening than I usually work. Unfortunately after reading one chapter in one textbook, I decided that it was just too late for me to be reading a second book so I just postponed it to tomorrow….God willing. Don’t get me wrong, I almost always give myself enough time to do and read every thing so I am not necessarily too concerned about it but I just always like to do what I planned to do for each day so yeaaah. Anyway , after I completed my homework, I just ate my dinner and relaxed the rest of my evening away.

I’ll be back….

Keep Education In Perspective – August 23rd,2014


My Morning: Though I did intend to sleep in longer than usual today, I couldn’t help but wish I did not because I feel that the longer I sleep in…the shorter my day is. However, I did wake up more rested than usual, which was nice. After I got up, I immediately scurried to do my laundry  before any of my dorm mates got there and while that was going, I decided to do some school work. Perhaps I signed myself up to do too much on a weekend; though it was not too much at all ;p. But, I really dislike doing school work every single day of the week, especially on the weekends, as I think that is unhealthy. That being said, a girl does got to do what a girl got to do regardless. On another note, as I was doing my laundry, a guy came in and started to talk to me….and unfortunately I couldn’t barely understand a word he was saying as I did not hear him. The only thing I understood that he told me was that he wanted me to feel whether a shirt that he had was dry or not O_o...which was kind of odd but I’m always willing to help ;p. I really hope I did not come across as rude or very strange to him because I just did not hear him…that’s all.

Thoughts: Just to say, though I have noticed this every year, I do not understand how these educational boards think that we should spend at least 6-9 hours a week in each class dedicated to school work when most of us our handling 4-6 classes at a time. I mean I am beginning to put into perspective that, that literally would mean spending everyday on school work which I do not agree with. It’s like we do not have a life outside of school;especially if we work too! School for me, used to be top priority and I resolved my life around school in many ways, but now I am getting my perspective on it. A higher education is great but it’s not everything! I value my education enough that I am willing to spend time to prepare for each class/do what I need to do, but I have gotten to the point that I refuse to spend every single day…so much of my mind…so much of my time “just” on school. There’s more to education…to life than just reading text-books and turning in assignments every single week. You spend hours studying for one test to get one grade, and then that is it. It’s effort…it’s energy…it’s our lives we are talking about here. I am not saying that a higher education is not worth spending time on and pursing but in the scheme of life…I think we all have to keep it in perspective. Our degree will not matter when we are gone. Psh, a degree will not even matter while we are here if we do not build on it after we get it. A lot of people have degrees and you know what, some still don’t have jobs…some don’t use their degree…some people are miserable…some just have it for “show” and everything else. Again, I am not downplaying an higher education as I am pursing it myself and Lord knows how much effort/value I put on my education. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. But when you look at LIFE, all that it is and has to offer, there’s has to be more going on than just being in the books and studying the days over. Sometimes, I just feel like I am literally eating, sleeping, going to school and that’s it.

School Carnival and the rest: After finishing my school work for today, I spent the rest of my day with activities of leisure. I composed on my keyboard, watched lifetime movies, talked with my best friend , listened to soundtracks and Christian Music, attended my school’s carnival and just relaxed. Speaking of my school’s carnival, as usual I arrived there rather early so I wouldn’t have to wait in any lines. This carnival did not have any rides but they had some “carnival-ish” games and food. I tried to eat an Hot Dog but I couldn’t stomach more than two bites. I ate some funnel cake fries and two pretzel bites ( that were waaay too salty for their own good ) ;p. Because they closed the dining hall just for the festival, I decided to get myself some Subway as I did not want to starve until the next day since the carnival food severely lacked…in my opinion ;p. On a bright note go, they did have cotton candy and snow cones go ! While I visually visited each booth at the carnival, I was not too keen on any of them. Though one booth did catch my eye as they had giant Pixie sticks behind the table. Ha, isn’t it funny how in the moment you want something that you know you have anyway but in that moment, your willing to do things that you wouldn’t even do just to get that something right then ;p. But I decided not to give in to desperation and I walked off. The carnival as a whole was pretty good though boring for me because as usual, I went alone and left alone -sighs-. Anyway, though I did not feel like writing this post…out of laziness, I am glad that I did as it is surely a nice way to write what’s on my mind.

An Amazing Song That Made My Night

~ Baaps

Glad Its FRIDAY – August 22nd,2014

My Morning: I woke up this morning feel better than what I felt like the previous day but I totally felt unmotivated to do anything school related. However, I am not the girl who will not do what she NEEDS to do no matter how lazy I may be feeling. Not to mention that I do not really like to deviate away from my “plans”.  Anyway, since I woke up early enough to have a few hours before my next class, I decided to go ahead and get started on some course work. I must say I do like, once I actually get up, having an earlier start to the day because I just get more done!

My Morning Class: While my morning class was quite boring in all, it’s only 50 minutes so I think that I can definitely manage to push through during the semester if it turns out to be a class that where the material is not too engaging. My instructor for this class on the other hand, surprised me when he started speaking as initially, he sounded like Michael Jackson! I kid you not…it’s true! But as the class passed by, I eventually got over the sound of his voice. He seems like he is very passionate and knowledgeable about the subject that he is teaching which is something I have found consistently with the instructors at my university which is always nice to see. The only downfall to this class had nothing to do with the class itself but something that happened before the class started. A young lady came to sit by next to me and then I felt her phone vibrate and before I know it, she got up and went to another seat. Then, if my memory has not already forsaken me, another person was going to sit down next to me and ended up sitting somewhere else! Now, maybe it’s just my mind against me but I immediately felt like maybe it was something about me that made them move. Did I smell…was it my face….did they think I was strange/weird…I didn’t know but this really did not make me feel good inside. I have to say go, I almost always think that my peers are thinking negatively about me. If they are laughing, laughing at me. If there are talking, it just may be about me. Ha, this “me against the world’ mentality is just so tiring I must say.

Afterwards: After class, I was looking forward to getting to my room to eat lunch while watching Braxton Family Values. I ended up having some Ramen Noodles, never again will I, with some chips and just enjoying myself. As I listened to soundtracks after this, I drifted off into a surprise nap…a very much needed nap. Then I proceeded to read my first book chapter of the semester which turned out to be pretty good despite the length. After I read the book, I decided to treat myself to some Reese Pieces which made my stomach feel not so good so I can safely say now that I am done with those. Unfortunately, my stomach has not been right since yesterday so I continued to have horrible flatulent and diaraehha. Perhaps, too much information but this is my day ;p. Because I was feeling pretty down & smelled disgusting, I decided to take a quick shower before I headed out to my school’s Back to School BBQ. I was not about to smell like “boo” as people would probably be standing besides me….behind me and I do not want to be the one who smells. I am very peculiar about smells; especially how I smell. So, if I smell bad…I am surely going to do my best to prevent it!

The BBQ and the rest: As usual I arrived to the BBQ fashionably early that I was only the second one in line. I did not have any one to talk to so I just looked around and down awkwardly as I waited for the event to start. I will say that as I was signing up for the event, one of the female staff members asked whether I was a Freshmen, and when I told her I was a junior…she said that I didn’t look that young anyway. -_-. Just a few days ago, I was asked whether I was a Freshman/Sophomore by an individual and when I said I was a Junior, I was told that I looked younger ;p. Now, I guess her comment kind of hit me the wrong way though I am sure it wasn’t meant that way…so I’ll say that ;p. I mean, I am not the one who wants to stay in the young mentality forever and that wants to “look” young forever/avoid aging type of person. But I don’t know…I guess on one hand I don’t want to be perceived as older as I think I am because then people act as if you should be a certain way/reach a certain level of know-how. On the other hand, it’s like NOOO, I am young still! Do I look that “much” older than a “freshman” would…. When did I stop looking young..I am not old…maybe I need to sleep more ? ;p. Anywaaaay, getting back to the BBQ, I get there to find that they had some Fiesta cornbread ( whatever that was…I am not sure), some veggie burgers , chicken, sweet tea, water, cookies and brownies. It wasn’t necessarily my idea of BBQ for sure but I gathered some chicken/cookies/and a bun, grabbed a free “school” towel and headed back up to my room. On my way back, I ran into my first roommate that I had which was nice. I spent the rest of my evening watching videos, and fine tuning a writing piece. Not a bad end to my second day of school , as a whole. But I have to be honest, I am glad it’s FRIDAY because mentally, physically, spiritually…this week has not been my week.

~ Baaps


My morning: Though I felt tired enough to sleep in longer, I knew I had too much I had to do today to stay in bed. As usual, I briefly tried to talk myself out of doing an activity today ( that involved going outside..ha) but I managed to talk myself out of not doing it and went for it. Before I go into what that something was, I started my morning off with organizing my drawers/school stuff and started to read all of my courses syllabuses. Needless to say, after the first one…I was ready to be done with it all already! But of course, I pushed myself to finish them well into the afternoon. Reading the syllabuses did settle a bit of my nerves but then kind of frazzled my nerves at the same time. It seems like so much and I always get worried that I will not be able to do everything/keep track. What if I forget…what if I fail….what if I do this and that -GAH-. I am ready for this semester to start already so my nerves can be put to rest ;p.

My afternoon: After tending to my school obligations, it was time for me to scurry down to meet in the school lounge to go on a “lightrail” tour with my school! I briefly chatted with another girl and unfortunately, my words kind of stumbled out, I didn’t know really what to say and afterwards I couldn’t help but wish I said a few things differently. Though she did go off to talk to other girls…not that I blame her. I wasn’t exactly “looking” inviting to have a conversation with. I kind of exchanged looks/smiles briefly with another girl and in a way, I thought that maybe we would talk but I never got that far. I tried to keep my eyes glued to the T.V so when it was time to go…I walked alone. Typical typical…TYPICAL. Once we got on the rail system, we were super crowded in so I started to worry whether I smelled and just being so close to people automatically makes me nervous so once people started to get off…I managed to get a spot by the door. Not to mention that the girls that were standing around me were having a somewhat lively conversation of their own so I just felt awkward being there. Anyway, once we arrived to our destination, a lot of us immediately went to Target. Me being who I am, I hurried to the clearance section to see if I could snag any deals. I did not find anything so having self-control I moved on to the next store which was the dollar store. Man, I really like the dollar store! Everything is for a dollar…what more to say ;p. You don’t buy things you can get for less there but the things you would normally have to pay more for……toiletries, candies, party supplies, gift bags….Oooo let’s just say I will surely be back since I only for a pack of napkins. After this store I headed to Ross for overalls and unfortunately….I found nothing so then I headed to the small mall. This mall was kind of in a suspecting area so I did not even stay more than 10 minutes and the store that I went in..I kind of scurried through. Then I realized that I really did not get…anything and I was determined to go back to my dorm with more than some napkins after all. So I walked myself back to Target, scoured the clearance section again, found nothing and then I headed to the Girl’s section and there….they…WERE…OVERALLS with the PANT STYLE !! And…ANNND they had the last, if not one of the last, pair of overalls in an XL which is my size when shopping in the girl’s (kid) section ;p. To make things better, the overalls were on sale with 30% off -woohoo-. However, I did not know whether I could celebrate until I tried them on because I was not quite sure I could fit into “kid” sizes anymore as I have grown a bit in the past few years as I am no longer a kid for sure. Thankfully, once I got home and showered up, I tried them on and what do you know a perfect fit for ME. Not too tight, no rips, and the top was not hanging so low ;p. I was so happy that I just smiled and just AH so glad I went on the trip. I mean, if I didn’t go, I would still not have any overalls! The thing is I said earlier to a lady who had overalls that I’ve been looking for some overalls and couldn’t find any for me, and what do you know…I found overalls on the same day!

You may be saying, “its just overalls” but I’ve been waiting for a pair of overalls for a long time now. They may be coming back into “trend” now but I could care less about fashion trends! I wanted overalls because they are versatile, comfortable and so simple…like me. I am just glad I had enough self-control to not buy what I did not need today and I am glad that I waited to get these awesome overalls…Thanks be to God! This totally brightened up my week!

My evening: After spending some time talking with mother/searching up apartments, I spent the rest of my evening watching You tube videos, eating and just enjoying the last day of my summer break before school arrives tomorrow morning.

~ Baaps

- Whoa I totally thought I posted this…apparently I did not-

First Day Of School – August 21st,2014

My morning: Surprisingly, my roommate was up earlier than me ( before 7:00am) to get herself ready for the first day of school. Me, on the other hand, I was not about to get up out of bed before my scheduled time 7:30am but when I did and she was still using the bathroom space…I started to get a bit antsy/bitter about it because I did not want to rush her but I did need to get done sooner than later ;p. Fortunately, she only spent like 5 more minutes at the sink and then it was my turn to get done. Let’s just say I was done in under 30 minutes for everything I want to say. I placed on my favorite orange collar shirt, some dark denim jeans , my black knit beret ( in the summer I know ;p ) and that was it. As I waited to go to class, I tried to listen to some Christian music but I could not focus as I was so nervous! I probably was shaking a bit even before I got to class. Not long after,  I headed out the door to go to my first class but Thanks God I looked down at my lanyard( holds my ID/keys) because my ID was not there! So I walked back into my room and noticed that my lanyard was under my desk *WHEW*. If I would have gotten downstairs without it…I would of had to call my roommate to sign me in and since I am not sure of her schedule…that could have been a mess.

My first class: I arrived to the class early to find a few other students waiting outside the door so though I did not think anybody was in the class anyway, I decided to wait until the other students went into the class. I plopped by bag and self on the ground and sparingly/quickly glanced up until it was time to go in. My instructor, in a way, kind of reminded me of my grandma ( in a good way) but I was not too keen about standing up to introduce myself to my class…but hey one has to do what one has to do. Glad that’s over. Since the A/C in the room wasn’t really working and the computer was having technical problems, we were let out early which was great! I left the class in good spirit. I must say, the main thing about the class that I am somewhat concerned about is the pop quizzes!

The day went on: After my class, I was able to head back to my dorm and stay there until my next class which did not start until 4:30pm. This is certainly one thing I am going to miss because when I start work, I’ll only have until 1:00pm to work on my other classes ;p. Unfortunately, for me, though I felt revived before I left for the class, once I got there…my nerves took over. As I walked the stairs to my class, I felt so out of breath by the time I got to where my class was that I had to walk away from the students, farther away from them, because I did not want them to hear my breathing! I literally nearly gasped for air once I finally got away from them. I don’t think it was the stairs at all, just me becoming so nervous that I hold my breath/breath incorrectly. -whew-. It did not use to always happen but it has since last semester, if I remember correctly. While this class went very well, because I was nervous, I placed my hands up ( to avoid looking around) which disappointed me as I did not want to start the year again with that habit. My hands/arms would get numb last semester because I would just keep them up then put them down to get the blood circulating again and then back up. Totally uncomfortable. I felt even more disappointed in myself once I left the class because 1. I did not speak up when I had valid thoughts that WOULD have turned out to be right 2. I was mumbling again and 3. I was looking down at the ground.  As you can imagine, when I left class I was not feeling good about myself…nor how I looked. The instructor that I have for this class was one that I had last semester so I was also disappointed that he was not able to see any growth in me from last year. Positive growth is very important and I felt I failed.

The night came: I spent majority of the night pondering why I could not speak up and stop my habits…I cried…I sighed..I talked with myself. A highlight of the night go was when there was a storm with lightning. But that was not what really cheered me up like it usually does. Though the night did end on a cheerier note than the day. I think I was just glad the day was over so my nerves can rest and that I could put the day behind me. Now that school has started, I am one step closer to my destination.

~ Baaps

 – P.S: I know this post should have been posted yesterday but because I was feeling lazy/not up to typing, I just decided to write it today *8/22* rather than note write it at all ;p.


My morning: Started with me feeling more anxious than usual which did throw me off a little bit. Usually when I wake up feeling this way, I tend to be a bit jittery and I do stuff wrong. Fortunately, I guess I was just anxious about school starting in the next few days. Though I initially was going to drop my plans today, because I did not necessarily “feel” up to them, I decided to go ahead and do what I said I was going to do. So, I headed to bank, paid a school bill and then shortly after….headed off to the movies…the most eventful part of my day pretty much.

The Movie Theater: As usual, I went to go see the movie at the AMC theater at 12:40 and of course I arrived there so early that there was only one other person in the theater. In a way, this was expected as I like to go to the movies during the weekdays as close to the morning hours as possible so I can get a good seat and a good price. Unfortunately, AMC theaters concessions are such a rip off that I just had some peppermints as I watched the movie ;p

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014) Trailer: I do not recall ever looking at the trailer for this movie so I went into the movie with not much of an idea of how the movie was going to look visually nor how it would play out.  Now that I think about it, I am surprised that I was eager to see a movie like this without firsthand looking at the trailer…who knows what I could have gotten myself into ;p But then I did see Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes in theater too so I knew a little something something.

The Movie: Initially, I was not too intrigued into the movie as it started out but as the movie got going, I really became captivated by it. Though, I will admit the small clip in the beginning credits with “Obama” in it certainly grabbed my attention. It left me wondering whether the producers actually got permission to do this or whether they just added it into the movie ;p On another note, visually, the movie was quite impressive; especially on a comparative scale. While some people may ridicule the amount of CGI/criticize the quality of it, for this movie I think it was done in good taste and certainly not overdone. There were a few parts that looked kind of animated/video game-ish but it did not distract me from the movie. I found the plot, characters, scenery, even the dialogue to not be lacking. Something that I must mention is the work done by the actors using motion capture. I saw some brief behind the scenes footage of the actors and I must say that the amount of effort/imagination that goes into it, it certainly needs not to go unnoticed. Sometimes I become so intrigued into a movie that a part of my mind wants to believe that what I saw was real. But then when I watch the behind the scenes footage, I recognize that it is fake which sometimes disappoints me. However, for me, it does just go to show how good the actors/director/producer are at what they do! Furthermore, what stood out in the movie was also the message that it carried….about hate. In the movie, it is said that the humans destroyed each other and how true of a statement that really was. It soon became a reality for the “apes” too in the movie which I thought was something. Perhaps, it does parallel with what we humans have done in the past, presently and in the future. I mean , what kind of road are we going down on here…and I do mean “down” : /. On a lighter note, I absolutely adored the music by Michael Giacchino in this film. There was a theme that he used repetitively when the apes were on screen and it just made the scene compelling and just made everything come alive. When I hear it, I almost feel like my stomach is being squeezed because of the excitement inside of me…like OOO oooooOOOO! I left the theater walking back to my dorm room with the theme in my head. You can hear the theme towards the end of this track below:

The Music: While there are those who are comparing this music score to the previous score by Patrick in Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes…I actually really enjoyed…no LOVED the music of this film. I did listen to some of the tracks from ROTPOTA and because I do not want to take away from either of the soundtracks, I’ll just say that each score to its own. Patrick made his score to fit the movie and it does fit what was happening in THAT movie and vice versa with Michael Giaachino’s score.  Before I saw DOTPOTA I listened to the soundtrack so I obviously could not match the music with the scene but now that I seen the movie…when I hear the music, I can see the scene happening! I feel inspired and I just long for the day I could create something even half as “awesome” as this. Until then, I will just love this soundtrack for what and all that it is.

The trailer ( AFTER the movie): I am glad that I did not see the trailer because I think it may have spoiled the movie for me. These days, I am seeing that trailers are getting longer and showing too much honestly ;p. I want to get an idea of what I am about to see but I don’t want to see everything ;p

Overview: In summary, I really enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would and I may even consider buying it a few months after it comes out. Also, I loved that the movie did not have crude and unnecessary content and focused on the movie. A lot of times movies nowadays I feel are being ruined with scenes that were just useless in the first place so it was good to see that this movie did not have that.  So, would I recommend this movie ? Absolutely! Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes had some of the best looking apes I’ve ever seen on screen( with attention to this age of technology) , follows Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes well, and has some really enthralling action/scenic/character shots.

~ Disclaimer: I do not review movies! This is just my way to tell someone, you, what I thought of what I seen today since I can not tell anybody else to the extent that I would like to ;p

My evening: Consisted of mainly eating, relaxing, watching You tube videos, and listening to the DOTPOTA soundtrack. Though I do feel a bit antsy about school starting so soon, I know I need to take it one day at a time and enjoy the moment that is here now. I’m so glad that I am starting back these daily blogs to record my days because I really needed a way to speak.



Here we go AGAIN – August 17th, 2014

My morning: There’s something about when everybody moves back into the dorms, how it messes with my sleep. It’s like my body begins to change it time back to fit my school schedule. Well, that or it’s just me over-thinking things. This morning I felt ready to get out of bed at the least 8am which is early when I do not have to be in school. However , I decided to not get up until about 10isham which I am glad about because I honestly need to enjoy not having to wake up super eaarrly now because on Thursday, school starts all over again! On a brighter note, I ended up watching this church sermon by Adrian Rogers on the story of Ruth called Decisions Determine Destiny, which was enlightening as always…he’s always GOOD!

As the day goes on: I spent the majority of my afternoon listening to various soundtracks from movies that I have watched. Unfortunately, it’s hard to trace back all the movies I have watched even in the recent year so I am just adding movies to the list as each day goes by. Today I listened to the Black Swan, Dawn Of The Planet Of Apes, Memoirs Of A Geisha, UP, and the Book Thief soundtrack. While the Black Swan by Clint M did not really interest me, I really enjoyed the beautiful Book Thief soundtrack by John Williams and Dawn Of The Apes ( by Michael Giacchino). What’s interesting about the composer of Dawn Of The  Planet of theApes, he also composed the music for the Pixar film UP which is such a joyful, uplifting, fun soundtrack of UP in contrast to the melancholic, dark (deep), intense and dramatic soundtrack of the Dawn of the Apes. I kid you not that I almost felt an anxiety/rush listening to the DOPTA soundtrack. Below is one of my favorites from the DOTA soundtrack:

~ What a beauty this piece of music is! I love it the more I listen to it~ It’s just sad that many people have probably not stayed to hear the whole thing because its at end of the movie ~ *plays again*

And the day went on: Not too long after I finished listening to soundtracks, at the corner of my eye, the clouds caught my attention as there was like puffy white clouds above the darker/tan clouds. Then I noticed that a storm was coming and at this I recorded some time lapse with my webcam and took pictures with my digital camera of the storm’s progress. Unfortunately, because 1.00 BATTERIES SUCK and my camera EATS up the batteries, I couldn’t take as much footage as I wanted but I did learn a lesson; Don’t buy batteries for a dollar..pay for the more expensive ones and they will last WAY longer! Below are some pictures that I took ( this year I have been blessed with a terrific view of the sky/city from my window):

thestormcomesin thestormcomesin2 thestormcomesin3 thestormcomesin4 thestormcomesin5 thestormcomesin6 thestormcomesin7 thestormcomesin8 thestormcomesin9

My evening: As much as I wanted to stay observing the sky, I wanted to stop by my school’s festival so I could grab a shirt and look around. Unfortunately for me, it was so crowded out there that I just really wasn’t too comfortable and was back in my room no more than 45 minutes out there. SUNP1152


In a way, it made me feel bad because I know I need to push myself to be around people and to talk to people yet in a way perhaps maybe those type of environments just aren’t for me. Two girls tried to talk with me but I kind of did not engage in much conversation after they finished asking me questions (awkward as usual ) so I kind of detached myself from the situation -sighs-. BUT I am glad nevertheless, that I did go. I may not stay long but I am glad I went. I spent the rest of the night snacking on some Frozen Strawberry lemonade, listening to my soundtracks and watching You tube videos. Ah, my way to spend the night ;p

The Good Stuff...
The Good Stuff…



What To Do Oh Lord ? “Handle It With Grace”

Today started off rather nicely but as the morning went by, there were some “news” that just did not sit with me well. First, I went to purchase my books for the next semester and for the first time, these books are costing a whooping amount of my grant which makes me worried on how I am going to pay it off in time that I do not get on an installment plan/end up paying several late fees. I still have another book to purchase and the cost has been 300+ already. This is extremely frustrating when you have committed to a lifestyle of no debt because what I do not get in scholarships,grants..I have to earn by working, which I have no problem doing…it just makes things more complicated. I mean, what’s the point of having a job to pay for school, a work-study, yet you still get late fees for not paying on time. I just do not know how this is all going to work out…then something else happened…

A few weeks ago I went to a camp and while I suspected that there were payment problems, I still ended up getting a payment at the end of my time there…only it was half of the amount that I was supposed to get. Now the camp director informed me that since they had x,y and z problems that they just weren’t able to pay people. As understandable as this was, I couldn’t help but feel taken advantage of shortly after. It’s not that I did not get paid “more” that is upsetting me; what upsets me is how the camp is handling it. I contacted the gentleman that basically hired me of my concerns and after two weeks I contacted him back to see if there were any updates. Today he tells me that the camp director is on vacation so I would have to wait. At that, I was nearly in tears. I feel like I am being intentionally avoided now instead of treating the matter honestly. That was the problem from the beginning. If the director had informed me earlier, not the day I leave, of the problems with payments/the camp, then this wouldn’t be a “matter” now but that’s just not the case. I can only think that the only reason why I am not getting a response back now is because they can not pay me the rest of the amount so they deliberately are waiting it out. If only they understood really why I am contacting them. You know, I had to examine my motives in contacting them about my concern because I wanted to be sure that I am free from the love of money, from discontentment and more but the more and more time goes on, I truly do see that I am right in my mind/heart about this. What really saddens me is that this is a Christian camp…we are supposed to be like God. We do our work unto the Lord. I guess at the end of the day, I am just surprised that people in a business, a christian business at that, will use these measures/tactics with their staff. It’s not right..it’s not just.

So now I am just contemplating on how to handle these two situations. Ultimately I know that I am going to have to trust that God will take care of it. I know for me, that I have to make sure that I handle each matter gracefully, justly and honestly. His will, will be done. I will not lie go, at the moment, I am stressed, worried and quite upset.